The Role of a Listener

The Role of a Listener

According to Peterson Petersen (2007), approaching communication with a sense of prejudice deforms the entire process. He, therefore, suggests that instead of evaluating what a speaker says, people should focus on listening. Most people do not dare to listen more, and this is what affects most conversations. Listening is not just about perceiving what another person says but also understanding them. The listener should focus on the message and the speaker’s perspective and ignore any sense of prejudgment that may affect the communication process. I consider myself considerate of what other people have to say, whether in real life or at the workplace.  I listen to and summarize what another person says and ask them if my understanding is correct. Sometimes, they accept my analysis or offer slight corrections when I am wrong. The purpose of listening is to understand what the speaker says from their perspective, regardless of their opinion.

Listening to people offers great insights into how we can improve our own lives. Besides, it helps people to learn from other people’s mistakes to avoid repeating similar actions. This is the backbone of Peterson’s listening technique (Petersen, 2007). That calls for people to approach conversations with the attitude of imperfect knowledge. That means accepting that one’s understanding is not entirely correct. Presuming that you have something to learn from another person encourages you to pay attention. The failure to approach conversations with such an attitude will result in little to no valuable outcomes in a conversation.

I have been a victim of poor listening, especially when forming my political decisions. I tend to align with extreme political formations, either the left or the right, depending on their articulation of policy matters. However, I am starting to understand that these extreme viewpoints are limiting (Carbonell, 2011). These political formations have formed their radical opinions with little incentive to listen to other parties. Being tied with these extreme political affiliations has always hindered me from engaging in objective political discourse. It is not possible to consider yourself right when your ideology is the only one you have weighed.

Also, whenever I talk to people, there are several actions I find to be quite uncomfortable. For instance, I hate being disrupted when I am telling a story. Some people are quick to interrupt when you tell your story, pausing to offer a better story or prove that they have a better experience than you. I also dislike people keen on enforcing their viewpoints with little regard for what I have to say. Also, those who fail to listen to me since they hold different opinions tend to make me uncomfortable. Conversations are a good way to share experiences and not a platform to compete about who has a better experience.

From my mistakes and those of my past listeners, I have understood some crucial actions towards having successful conversations. First, there is a need to take time and understand what is said instead of just rushing through. Also, the act of summary is important in every communication. It allows the speaker and the listener to agree on the message, thus ensuring there is no confusion.

As a listener, I have also learned to focus on the moral of the story and ignore other sideshows. Some people naturally speak rudely. That is not necessarily because of their attitude to me as a listener. What people say is sometimes a consequence of thinking aloud (Schultze & Badzinski, 2015). On that note, there is a need to avoid strawman arguments, which is selecting a single element of a conversation and twisting it. As a listener, I need to understand the core of what is said to realize its communicative value.

The bible has also provided me with critical lessons about listening. James 1:19 says,’ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.’ (New American Standard Version Bible, 1995). The verse primarily reinforces the importance of being a good listener.  From a biblical perspective, being quick to listen means dropping the ego that prevents us from listening. On the other hand, being slow to speak reinforces Peterson’s imperfect knowledge approach. Finally, being slow to anger aligns with avoiding strawman arguments.

Following the charter text for Christian listening is not as easy as it appears. I have realized that it will take me a long time to become a good listener with respect to biblical teachings. One important virtue that can guide one towards good listening is patience. Becoming a good listener is not an overnight endeavor but rather a sustained learning process. Therefore, it does not start with a resolve to be a good listener in a single conversation but creates a sustained pattern in all conversations I participate in. Biblical teachings encourage the spirit of patience in conversations, such that the listener fully understands the intent of a speaker. That means pushing all external factors to the periphery and focusing on the message at hand.

In summary, listening is a complex communication process that goes beyond perceiving what the speaker says. A good listener should take time to understand the speaker’s perspective. That can be achieved by employing the act of summarizing, which is essentially restating what the listener says to ensure you are on the same page. Other strategies to ensure successful listening include adopting the imperfect knowledge principle and avoiding strawman arguments. These measures will satisfy the speaker and help the listener to get the correct message.

References

Carbonell, M. (2011). How to Solve the People Puzzle: Understanding Personality Patterns.        eBookIt. com.

New American Standard Version Bible. (1995). New American Standard Bible.             https://nasb.literalword.com/ (Original work published 1971)

Petersen, J. (2007). Why Don’t We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in          Relationships. James C. Petersen.

Schultze, Q. J., & Badzinski, D. M. (2015). An Essential Guide to Interpersonal Communication: Building Great Relationships with Faith, Skill, and Virtue in the Age of Social Media. Baker Academic.

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REFLECTION PAPER ASSIGNMENT INSTRUCTIONS
****LTHE ROLE OF A LISTENER
OVERVIEW
The goal of reflective writing is to interact with and integrate new information and apply it to what you already know and practice, thereby achieving personal growth. You will write a total of four reflection papers in this course. Each paper has a specific topic. All four papers have the same basic purpose, structure, and format. Each paper must maintain a good balance between 1) examination and discussion of relevant course materials on the topic and 2) self-reflection on how these phenomena play out in your own interpersonal communication contexts.

The Role of a Listener

INSTRUCTIONS
Begin each paper with a specific reference or a quote from the week’s assigned readings. Use this reference to anchor your discussion and reflections. Discuss the assigned topic by comparing, contrasting, and synthesizing a variety of course materials by different authors. You may also include additional sources and Scriptures. Provide a personal response to the topic and course materials. Reflections may include new insights about yourself, your communication style, and your relationships; realizations about existing communication barriers, challenges, and opportunities in your personal and/or professional arena; communication strategies and skills that you discovered and applied; and observed outcomes emerging from changes you have made. Each paper must also include a biblical worldview/faith journey perspective as well as a brief discussion of how your behavioral blend (as described by Carbonell) influences your communication and actions on the given topic.
Each paper should be between 900 and 1,000 words long (3 pages of text). The content should be engaging, substantive, and interesting. It should be written in a focused and concise manner and be well organized with a logic progression of ideas and transitions that are clear and maintain flow of thought. Submit as a Word document, formatted according to current APA style, free of grammar, spelling, and other writing errors. A title page is expected, but an abstract is not needed. Repeat the paper title on page 2 according to APA format, but do not use any subheadings. Use APA style for both in-text citations and the reference page, while making sure references correspond and are correct.

*****Reflection Paper: The Role of Listener Assignment*****
Petersen offered guidance for making sure our listening practices are respectful, non-judgmental, supportive, and constructive (Chapters 14-16). Schultze and Badzinski described the process of attentive listening (Chapter 1). The also provided Bible-based principles for resolvi