Opposites Attract- Understanding the Role of Differences in Attraction

Opposites Attract- Understanding the Role of Differences in Attraction

The expression “opposites attract” describes how people who have dissimilar personalities, passions, or other qualities could find themselves drawn to one another, whether romantically or platonically. This concept contrasts with a similarity-attraction hypothesis, which proposes that individuals have a high probability of being attracted to those who happen to be similar to them in terms of outlooks, ideals, interests, and other characteristics. This hypothesis suggests that people are naturally drawn to those who share commonalities with them because similarity fosters understanding, validation, and a sense of connection. Research supporting the similarity-attraction hypothesis has shown that people are likely to form friendships and romantic relationships with individuals who are similar to them in various ways (Weiten, Dunn & Hammer, 2014). Studies have demonstrated that similarity in areas such as personality traits, beliefs, political views, and hobbies is positively associated with attraction and relationship satisfaction (Weiten, Dunn & Hammer, 2014).

While the similarity-attraction hypothesis is well-supported in research on interpersonal attraction, there are instances where opposites attract. In my opinion, one possible explanation is based on the complementarity theory of interpersonal attraction, which suggests that individuals are attracted to those who possess qualities or characteristics that complement their own (Fiske, 2014). Unlike the similarity-attraction hypothesis, which emphasizes the importance of similarities between individuals, complementarity theory focuses on how differences between people can lead to attraction and compatibility. According to the complementarity theory, individuals are drawn to others who have qualities or traits that they lack, creating a sense of balance or completion in the relationship. For example, someone who is naturally more dominant may be attracted to someone who is more submissive, as they complement each other’s personality styles. Complementarity can manifest in various ways beyond personality traits, including skills, abilities, and roles within a relationship. For instance, in a romantic partnership, one person may excel in organization and planning while the other is more spontaneous and creative, leading to a complementary dynamic in their relationship.

Further, studies on complementarity theory have shown that individuals often seek out partners who possess qualities that they perceive as enhancing their own strengths or compensating for their weaknesses. An example of this is when an introvert or rather a shy person is attracted to an extrovert, or rather an individual who is more outgoing. I also believe that novelty and excitement can play a role in attraction. Meeting someone who is different from oneself can be intriguing and stimulating, leading to attraction despite differences in personality or interests. The promise of getting to experience the world from another worldview as well as being introduced to new experiences that one would most likely not have even thought of on their own all through forming a relationship with a person can be intriguing, which adds to their attractiveness.

Furthermore, cultural and individual differences can influence attraction. In some cultures, there may be greater emphasis on complementarity in relationships, leading individuals to seek out partners who balance their own traits. Additionally, individual preferences and experiences can vary, leading some people to be drawn to those who are different from them. Overall, while similarity is a strong predictor of attraction, there are cases where opposites attract due to complementarity, novelty, cultural factors, or individual preferences. It’s essential to recognize that attraction is complex and can be influenced by a variety of factors.

References

Fiske, A. P. (2014). Complementarity theory: Why human social capacities evolved to require cultural complements. In Personality and Social Psychology at the Interface (pp. 76-94). Psychology Press.

Weiten, W., Dunn, D. S., & Hammer, E. Y. (2014). Psychology applied to modern life: Adjustment in the 21st century. Cengage Learning.

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What does the expression “opposites attract” refer to? In light of the discussion in this unit of the importance of similarity in attraction, why do you think it is that opposites may be attracted to each other in some cases?

Opposites Attract- Understanding the Role of Differences in Attraction