Enhancing Peer Analysis – Adding Depth to Selected Passages

Person 1

Hello,

Thank you for your post. In your analysis of the passage, you have done a remarkable job of discussing gender relations and the struggles of power. Some of the aspects of the play I was most interested in included the ways in which you depicted the couple’s conversations and the underlying conflict of power relations between them. In order to develop your analysis, another exciting aspect could be to analyze the symbolism or the use of metaphors within the given passage. For instance, the ”hills like white elephants” referred to in the setting could be a symbol or a metaphor that needs elaboration.

The “white elephants” could symbolize several things, for instance, the problems that the characters are facing but are unwilling to solve them. On the other hand, the “white elephants” could be interpreted as valuable and may be cherished but also cumbersome and complicated to handle (Paudel). Also, the “white elephants” could symbolize the attitudes of the characters or the unseen conflicts that exist between them.

Therefore, by analyzing the symbolism of the “white elephants,” the passage could have added an extra level of meaning and interpretation to the simple description of the setting. This would enable the reader to read the story in a more reflective manner than just the mere events and personalities of the characters. Thus, introducing this kind of symbolic or metaphorical component could genuinely transform the passage from a simple piece of writing to something that is much richer and multilayered, thus allowing the author to give the story an additional layer and meaning and, therefore, make the reader consider the potential deeper meaning or message of the text.

Works Cited

Paudel, Sharada. Symbols in Selected Stories by Fitzgerald, Faulkner and Hemingway. Diss. 2021.

Person 2

Hello,

Your breakdown of the essential components necessary for an engaging story is insightful and thorough. Your focus on engaging characters, the story’s emotional arc, and the plot is consistent with what I also think makes good storytelling. Based on the examples from “The Lottery” and “Hills Like White Elephants,” an additional component that could be discussed would be the setting and how this can enhance the themes and affect the reader emotionally.

By focusing on how the setting corresponds to the central motifs and mood changes, the author can give the story a deeper meaning and a more nuanced tone. The setting does not have to be a person, but in its own form, it can influence the characters’ actions and lives and influence the reader in the end. Finding out how a setting can be used as a symbol and plot is one of the directions that I think could add more depth to the already presented discussion of these two exemplary short stories (Fick). Thus, it is crucial to see how the aspects of the physical world complement and enhance the themes and emotions of the stories and expand our analysis of techniques used.

Works Cited

Fick, Brandon. Only An Only Child: Stories. Diss. University of Saskatchewan, 2022.

Instruction 2

Person 1

Hello,

This is a great post. I loved the way you described your first-ever time jet skiing. The amount of fun and rush one can get from such a is well-represented in your piece. This is evident in the choice of adjectives to describe the outlook, the type of breeze and how the wind rushes through the hair, or the splashing of water in the swimming pool. I specifically observed how you captured the feeling of the breeze and lightness associated with the speed of the jet ski on water. I like your line here where you say you felt like you were flying just above the water; this gave me the sensation of liberation and all that adrenaline rush. It retraced me to the manner in which Ernest Hemingway incorporates a tender relationship between the physical events and feelings of his protagonists exemplified in “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” (Beall).

Additionally, the way you increase tension and keep the audience on edge is quite effective. From the voices and tones of excitement and nervousness, from the assertion of the power and capabilities of the jet ski to that moment when ”you dared to push the speed even further,” the voice portrays the ”adrenaline rush” you were getting. It was an exciting story, and I am interested in learning more about your strategies as well as any perspective that was gained from this activity.

Question: Do you see specific approaches or methods used here that can benefit other creative writing projects in the future?

Works Cited

Beall, John. Hemingway’s Art of Revision: The Making of the Short Fiction. LSU Press, 2024.

Person 2

Hello,

Great post. I especially like your vivid portrayal of the key scene in the Texas State Marching Competition. I like how you describe the pressure that comes with entering the stadium, the sweating palms, the heavy breathing, and the silent anticipation before the announcer makes a statement. The description of sights, sounds, and feelings, such as the burning lights of the stadium, the loudspeaker announcing, and the tight grip of your friend’s hand, all help take me directly into the experience. This passage makes me think of how Joan Didion uses the descriptions of perceptions of the body and perception of feelings in her essays, for example, ”The White Album,” where she writes about ”visceral fear” while covering the Manson killings (Christoff 88). The manner in which you blend these various aspects contributes to providing a terrifically engaging and descriptive narrative. Altogether, this is a very colorful and engaging story that truly transports the reader into the described situation.

What I am wondering about is whether this scene was very realistic. Did you have a similar background in competitive marching band, or did you have to research and use your imagination?