Effects of Technology on Social Interactions Final Essay

Effects of Technology on Social Interactions Final Essay

Revised 12-Point Outline

1. Introduction
   • Today, technology shapes people’s behaviors, growth, and development within our personal lives and interactions with others.
2. Thesis
   • Technological advancement has revolutionized interactions, while on the other hand, technology has adversely impacted close human interactions and eroded human intimacy.
3. First Support of the Thesis (States A)
   • Computer and internet advances have changed people’s interactions in critical aspects compared to traditional communications systems developed in previous eras.
     • First Support for A
       • The modern-day has changed how people communicate by introducing features such as cellphone applications and internet platforms and providing opportunities for geographically distant loved ones or friends to stay in contact.
     • Second Support for A
       • The existence of multiple chat platforms such as WhatsApp and Skype has enhanced global communication, translating into the business sector where executives use these platforms for interviewing candidates or holding meetings.
4. Second Support of the Thesis (States B)
   • While technology bridges an international gap through digital interaction, those who are geographically close are regularly distant since they spend most of their time on mobile devices.
     • First Support for B
       • Virtual distance is currently affecting the foundation of relationships and connections among people within close proximity.
     • Second Support for B
       • More so, modern technology is regularly connected to risky exposure to EMFs and excessive blue light, placing developing children at risk of cognitive alterations.
5. Third Support of the Thesis (States C)
   • The introduction of communication technology devices has resulted in the erosion of intimacy.
     • First Support for C
       • People often prefer texting rather than meeting in person or sitting silently with their friends with their heads bowed to digital devices.
     • Second Support for C
       • Human interactions and connections have tremendously decreased, while human intimacy has been replaced with individual-to-machine connections.
6. Conclusion Due to technology, many people seem to prefer the digital world more than reality.

The Tutor Comments

TUTOR COMMENTS

Effects of Technology In Social Interactions

1. Introduction Today, technology is shaping our behaviors, growth, and development within our personal lives and in our interactions with other people.
2. Thesis Technological advancement has revolutionized interactions, while on the other hand, technology has adversely impacted close human interactions and eroded human intimacy.
3. First Support of the Thesis (states A) Computer and internet advances have changed people’s interactions in critical aspects as compared to traditional systems of communication developed in previous eras.
4. First Support for A The modern day has changed how people communicate, introducing features such as cellphone applications, internet platforms, and providing opportunities for geographically distant loved ones or friends to stay in contact.
5. Second Support for A The existence of multiple chat platforms such as WhatsApp and Skype has enhanced global communication, translating into the business sector where executives use these platforms for interviewing candidates or holding meetings.
6. Second Support of the Thesis (states B) While technology bridges an international gap through digital interaction, those who are geographically close are regularly distant since they spend most of their time on mobile devices.
7. First Support for B Virtual distance is currently affecting the foundation of relationships and connections among people within close proximity.
8. Second Support for B More so, modern technology is regularly connected to a risky exposure to EMFs and excessive blue light, placing developing children at risk of cognitive alterations.
9. Third Support of the Thesis (States C) The introduction of communication technology devices has resulted in the erosion of intimacy.
10. First support for C People often prefer texting rather than meeting in person or sitting silently with their friends with their heads bowed to digital devices.
11. Second support for C Human interactions and connections have tremendously decreased, while human intimacy has been replaced with individual-to-machine connections.
12. Conclusion Due to technology, many people seem to prefer the digital world more than reality.

REVISION

Effects of Technology in Social Interactions

1. Introduction
   • Today, technology is shaping our behaviors, growth, and development within our personal lives and in our interactions with other people. (The pronoun “we” with “our” is too informal for academic writing. The more formal “people’s behavior” will give your essay a more formal tone.)
2. Thesis
   • Technological advancement has revolutionized interactions, while on the other hand, technology has adversely impacted close human interactions and eroded human intimacy.
3. First support of the thesis (states A)
   • Computer and internet advances have changed people’s interactions in critical aspects as compared to traditional systems of communications developed in previous eras.
   • First support for A
     • The modern day has changed how people communicate, introducing features such as cellphone applications, ______ internet platforms, and providing opportunities for geographically distant loved ones or friends to stay in contact. (need the connector “and” here. There is no need for the comma here – “features such as cellphone applications and internet platforms.)
   • Second support for A
     • The existence of multiple chat platforms such as WhatsApp and Skype have enhanced global communication, translating into the business sector where executives use these platforms for interviewing candidates or holding meetings.
4. Second support of the thesis (states B)
   • While technology bridges an international gap through digital interaction, those who are geographically close are regularly distant since they spend most of their time on mobile devices.
   • First support for B
     • Virtual distance is currently affecting the foundation of relationships and connections among people within close proximity.
   • Second support for B
     • More so, modern technology is regularly connected to a risky exposure to EMFs and excessive blue light, placing developing children at risk of cognitive alterations.
5. Third support of the thesis (States C)
   • The introduction of communication technology devices has resulted in the erosion of intimacy.
   • First support for C
     • People often prefer texting rather than meeting in person or sitting with their friends with their heads bowed to digital devices silently.
   • Second support for C
     • Human interactions and connections have tremendously decreased, while human intimacy has been replaced with individual-to-machine connections.
6. Conclusion Due to technology, many people seem to prefer the digital world more than reality.

Hello,

Thank you for submitting your 12-point outline here. The fully developed paragraph is missing in your assignment here. I did not see your fully developed paragraph here for one of the points in your outline. I have typed comments in your document here with comments.  Please let me know what questions you have about this assignment.

My Rhetorical Pre-writing Plan

Topic Sentence: Technological advancement has revolutionized interactions, while on the other hand, technology has adversely impacted close human interactions and eroded human intimacy.

Reason 1: Computer and internet advances have changed people’s interactions in critical aspects

Detail: Modern-day technology has changed how people communicate.

Reason 2: People in close proximity are regularly distant since they spend most of their time on mobile devices.

Detail: Virtual distance is currently affecting the foundation of relationships and connections among people.

Reason 3: Communication technology devices have resulted in the erosion of intimacy.

Detail: People often prefer texting rather than meeting in person.

Concluding Sentence: Due to technology, many people seem to prefer the digital world more than reality.

Justification

• Removed title capitalization for some words
• Removed incorrect pluralism
• Replaced informal pronouns with a more formal tone
• Included connectors to enhance unity within the essay
• Changed the closing sentence (clincher) in the conclusion paragraph
  

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Effects of Technology on Social Interactions Final Essay

Instructions

You have read two authors who focus on the effects of technology and offered solutions to the problems they see as difficult and challenging for society.

Sherry Turkle’s article, ““Flight from Conversation” focuses on how technology “changes not only what we do, but who we are.” She specifically explores the negative effects cell phones have on personal relationships and the ability for people to converse with others. Her article points out to people the unintended consequences of

technology to which they are vulnerable, but she also maintains there are solutions and time for people to make corrections.

Michael Solis’s article “Obstacle to Friendship/Love” also focuses on the consequences of technology, in this case, how relationships are affected by social media. He, however, only offers something for consideration, not a solution to the problem.

Using Turkle and Solis as your experts in the field, you will write a 550- to 650-word essay in which you respond to the problems/effects technology poses for society. Focus on one thing, as both Turkle (cell phones) and Solis (social media) did.

Think about both your topic (technology) and your tool box (problem/solution, cause and effect, compare and contrast, etc.), and then start to plan your ideas with pre-writing, such as mapping, journalistic questions (who, what, where, when, how, why, and so what). In addition, make sure to use either Turkle or Solis as an expert in your article. There should be one direct quote or one paraphrase with an in-text citation and a work cited at the end.

The essay should consist of an introduction with a well-developed thesis statement; supporting paragraphs that support the thesis statement and make up the body of the essay; and the conclusion. Each supporting paragraph should have a well-developed topic sentence and details to support the topic sentence.

The essay should be unified and coherent with specific supporting details or examples for support.  It should provide sentence variety (simple, compound, and complex sentences). The paragraphs should be clear, concise, and arranged in a logical order.  Transitional words and phrases should be used to provide coherence. Choose one point of view: first, second, or third person.

Submit your final essay on technology to the Assignments section of the classroom.

The following should be submitted with your assignment:

• Your revised 12-Point Outline
• The tutor comments
• Your “My Rhetorical Pre-writing Plan”
• Your justification in bullet points for your revision. The justification should provide the changes you made from the draft to the revised paragraph and can cover any the following:
  • Introduction
  • Conclusion
  • Thesis Statement
  • Topic Sentence/s within each paragraph
  • Examples
  • Coherence between paragraphs or within paragraphs
  • Order (which one) between paragraphs or within paragraphs
  • Transitions (which ones) between paragraphs or within paragraphs
  • Unity within paragraphs or within the entire essay
  • Closing Sentence/s (clincher) within each paragraph