Childhood Attachment Style and Its Effect on Adulthood Relationship

Childhood Attachment Style and Its Effect on Adulthood Relationship

The way people relate to others is referred to as attachment. The type of attachment a person experiences during the first two years of life influences the attachment style that person develops later in life. Many psychologists believe that the relationship formed between a child and a caregiver influences later adult relationships. The attachment bond formed during childhood shapes the infant’s brain and influences the child’s self-esteem, expectations of others, and ability to develop and maintain successful adult relationships. Childhood attachment is one of the most important factors influencing children’s social development from childhood to adulthood (Dozier et al., 2014). The type of attachment that caregivers and parents have to their children has a large influence on the type of relationship that the child will attract and maintain as he or she grows up. Childhood attachment styles are classified into four types: optimal attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment, and disorganized attachment [CITATION PSY16l 1033].

Attachment that is secure and optimal

The child feels safe, seen, appreciated, and soothed by the parent or caregiver when they have a secure attachment. Children form a strong attachment to the person who cares for them between the ages of six months and two years. It is critical that the caregiver maintains this type of attachment throughout the child’s childhood. The caregiver will serve as a safe foundation for the child to explore the world and become more self-sufficient. The internal working model contains beliefs and expectations about oneself and one’s relationships with others, which influence future social interactions. Securely attached people always expect good from their parents or caregivers, which leads the child to believe that people are meant to be good to others. The child also feels loved and expects everyone else to be friendly and helpful. As a child grows into an adult, he or she is more likely to treat others with respect and to be helpful to those who require assistance. Such children benefit socially from their parents because there is a link between secure attachment and open parent-child conversations about daily emotions, experiences, and conflicts[CITATION PSY16 l 1033]. As a result, the child grows up expecting and knowing how to deal with such situations whenever they arise because the parent was close to the child and provided various[CITATION Fra16 l 1033].

Adults who grow up with a secure attachment develop a secure personality. They crave close relationships with others and have a strong sense of self. They have a positive attitude toward themselves, as well as their partners and relationships. They are usually independent and feel more secure in their close relationships. Such adults recover quickly from misfortune, discouragement, and disappointment. They also enjoy being themselves and are content to spend time with others, which improves their relationships with others. Good memories are also a feature of adults who were securely attached as children. Good memories are also a major contributor to successful relationships because such people always do good to others and expect the same in their relationships.

Attachment avoidance

Avoidant attachment occurs when a caregiver or parent is emotionally unavailable, causing them to be unaware of and insensitive to the child’s needs. When the child is distressed or hurt, they rarely respond. These parents or caregivers promote independence while discouraging crying. The children form an avoidant attachment, in which they are self-sufficient and do not require anything from anyone (Li et al., 2009; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). Young adults with avoidant attachment during middle childhood have higher levels of loneliness and social anxiety. Young adults who experienced avoidant attachment as children always struggled with certain aspects of personal relationships as children. However, as interpersonal relationships become more prominent, such struggle contributes to social functioning in the long run (Franson et al., 2009).

Attachment Anxiety/Ambivalence

The children are unsure of their parents and caregivers because they are sometimes caring and attentive to them, and other times they are not. They are inconsistent, leaving the children feeling insecure and befuddled [CITATION Sch14 l 1033]. They are unsure of what to expect from their caregivers and frequently feel distrustful and suspicious of their parents, despite acting clingy and desperate. Such children will grow up to be adults with preoccupied personalities who are insecure and critical of themselves. In most situations, they doubt themselves and frequently seek reassurance and approval from others (Fonagy, 2010; Levy et al., 2011). Their relationships suffer as a result of their doubts and frequent fear of rejection, which causes them to doubt themselves and be constantly concerned. Such adults are overly reliant on their partners and appear clingy[CITATION Fra13 l 1033]. In relationships, they are emotionally desperate, and their insecurity causes them to turn against themselves. Such adults are also inconsistent in situations where they are available one minute and rejected the next. They have no idea what will happen to them in the future, and they live a life full of uncertainties (Fortuna, Roisman, Haydon, Groh, & Holland, 2011; PSYCHALIVE, 2016).

Attachment is disorganized

Because the caregiver or parent is abusive to the child in a disorganized attachment, the child suffers emotional and physical cruelty. Children are always in a quandary because the people who are supposed to look after them are abusive. The child always wants to be protected, but he or she expects to be hurt by the caregiver. The child develops a fear of the outside world and frequently disassociates from himself/herself [CITATION Wal06 l 1033]. Such children form negative internal working models and believe they are unlikeable. They perceive others to be cruel and untrustworthy. These children will grow up to be fearful adults with avoidant personalities (Baer & Martinez, 2006; PSYCHALIVE, 2016). When adults develop feelings of trauma as children, they detach from themselves in some way. Their adult lives are unbalanced, and they lack a clear connection with others[CITATION Col07 l 1033].

Conclusion

In conclusion, the above scholars demonstrate that the type of childhood attachment a child receives from their parents or caregivers has a significant influence on their adult relationships. Children who have experienced secure attachment grow into adults who have a strong sense of self, attract and maintain positive relationships, and are proud of who they are. Avoidant attachment in children results in lonely adults with social anxiety. However, such children grow up struggling with certain aspects of personal relationships, which contribute to long-term social functioning. Children who have lived have grown into adults who constantly doubt themselves and are insecure in their relationships. Disorganized childhood attachment, on the other hand, results in an adult who lacks a clear connection with others because they are always disliked.

References

Baer, J. C., & Martinez, C. D. (2006). Child maltreatment and insecure attachment: a meta-analysis. . Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 24(3), 187-197.

Collishaw, S., Pickles, A., Messer, J., Rutter, M., Shearer, C., & Maughan, B. (2007). Resilience to adult psychopathology following childhood maltreatment: Evidence from a community sample. Child abuse & neglect, 31(3), 211–229.

Dozier, M., Stovall-McClough, K. C., & Albus, K. E. (2008). Attachment and psychopathology in adulthood.

Fonagy, P. (2010). Attachment theory and psychoanalysis. . Other Press, LLC.

Fortuna, K., Roisman, G. I., Haydon, K. C., Groh, A. M., & Holland, A. S. (2011). Attachment states of mind and the quality of young adults’ sibling relationships. Developmental psychology, 47(5), 1366–1373. doi: 10.1037/a0024393.

Fraley, R. C., Roisman, G. I., Booth-LaForce, C., Owen, M. T., & Holland, A. S. (2013). Interpersonal and genetic origins of adult attachment styles: A longitudinal study from infancy to early adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(5), 817.

Franson, M., Granqvist, P., Marciszko, C., Hagekull, B., & Bohlin, G. (2016). Is Middle Childhood Attachment Related To Social Functioning in Young Adulthood? Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, 57(2), 108-116.

Levy, K. N., Ellison, W. D., Scott, L. N., & Bernecker, S. L. (2011). Attachment style. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 67(2), 193-203.

Li, N., He, J., & Li, T. (2009). Gender difference of insecure attachment: Universal or culture-specific? Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 32(1), 36-37. doi: 10.1017/S0140525X09000016.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.

PSYCHALIVE. (2016). What is Your Attachment Style? What is attachment, and why is it important? Retrieved from psychalive.org: http://www.psychalive.org/what-is-your- attachment-style/

Schimmenti, A., & Bifulco, A. (2015). Linking lack of care in childhood to anxiety disorders in emerging adulthood: the role of attachment styles. Child and Adolescent Mental Health, 20(1), 41-48.

Schimmenti, A., Passanisi, A., Gervasi, A., Manzella, S., & Fama, F. I. (2014). Insecure attachment attitudes in the onset of problematic Internet use among late adolescents. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 45(5), 588-595.

Waldinger, R. J., Schulz, M. S., Barsky, A. J., & Ahern, D. K. (2006). Mapping the road from childhood trauma to adult somatization: the role of attachment. Psychosomatic Medicine, 68(1), 129-135.

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This is a good start on the impact of attachment from childhood through adulthood. Did you find anything in your reading regarding what might change someone’s attachment style when they are already adults?

Childhood Attachment Style and Its Effect on Adulthood Relationship

For example, if the person had a secure attachment as a child and is a healthy adult, are there experiences that might alter their attachment style?