Understanding Interpersonal Conflict- Communication, Individual Differences, and Resolution Strategies

Understanding Interpersonal Conflict- Communication, Individual Differences, and Resolution Strategies

The definition of conflict extends beyond disagreement and people. According to Bercovitch et al. (2009), conflict is an incompatibility of position. Conflict can also be defined as an incompatibility of values, goals, interests, expectations, needs, and or ideologies (Folger, 2020). However, I believe conflict is the lack of understanding between two or more parties because of differences in opinions, ideas, personalities, and behaviors. The different definitions of conflict suggest that the main cause of conflict is incompatibility, which is an unavoidable aspect beyond a person’s control. Conflict can also be caused by various communication behaviors. Notably, the main communication behaviors that limit effective communication are criticism and contempt (Lisitsa, 2024).

On the one hand, criticism involves questioning other people’s ideas or opinions, which could create tension and result in a conflict. Criticism can create conflict when the parties questioning each other’s ideas and opinions are unwilling to compromise and listen to each other and opt to shout at each other until one of them gives up the argument. Conflicts arising from conflicting ideas can be avoided by providing positive criticism, which includes explaining why a person differs from the other person’s ideas and positions. Positive criticism could also involve acknowledging the other person’s ideas and opinions before providing feedback about them.

On the other hand, contempt includes attacking another person’s self-worth by using strategies such as mockery or sarcasm and name-calling to make fun of the other person. Contempt can create conflict during communication when one of the parties in the conversation calls the other party insulting names that attack their self-worth and self-esteem because the other party may respond using insults or a physical attack, making it hard to continue with the conversation. Name-calling can also lead to conflict if the party addressed using disrespectful names responds by calling the other party disrespectful names and walking away from the conversation as the other person is speaking.

Impact of Communication Behaviors on Interpersonal Relationships

Communication behaviors are vital in interpersonal relationships because they impact how people relate. For example, communication behaviors such as criticism can make it hard for people to express their ideas and opinions in interpersonal relationships when one party is unwilling to listen and only focuses on criticizing the ideas and opinions of the other people involved in the conversation. The main communication behaviors associated with criticism include hostile language and insults. Hostile language and insults can create conflict when the party being insulted or being addressed using hostile language feels disrespected. Criticism can also cause tension between people in interpersonal relationships when the person whose ideas and opinions are criticized feels that the criticism is influenced by personal issues such as disrespect, thus negatively impacting interpersonal relationships.

One of the factors that sustain interpersonal relationships is the exchange of information between the people interacting in a selected setting or context. Therefore, if people cannot freely express their ideas and opinions without being harshly criticized without a justification for the criticism, they may be unwilling to engage in conversations, thus limiting interpersonal relations. The main communication behaviors associated with contempt include mocking and disrespect. Therefore, contempt could also conflict in interpersonal relationships, particularly when one party feels that the other party does not respect them after they use abusive names to refer to them or mock them for their ideas. For example, if one of the parties in the conversation sustaining the interpersonal interactions is insulted or mocked, he or she may opt not to continue participating in the conversation, thus limiting the communication required to maintain interpersonal relations.

Impact of Gender, Age, Culture, and Race on Interpersonal Conflict

Differences in gender, age, culture, and race can also contribute to interpersonal conflict. According to Hocker et al. (2022), interpersonal conflict is influenced by interpersonal communication. Therefore, conflict may arise between people from different genders because of differences in communication methods and communication styles. Gender may also influence communication styles and communication approaches because of differences in the amount of emotion used in a conversation and the expression of emotions in communication. The need to express emotions in a conversation may influence the communication style selected by people from different genders. For example, Churgai (2021) argues that females communicate in a more emotional, elaborate, and indirect way that can reflect a lack of authority, tentativeness, and uncertainty, whereas men communicate in a direct, instrumental, and succinct way. Therefore, conflict between a female and a male may arise when the female feels that her emotions are not considered during the conversation because of the male’s directness.

Age differences can also cause interpersonal conflict because of differences in communication approach and the choice of words used to communicate. For instance, young people are accustomed to using short forms to communicate, and older people are not familiar with these short forms. This could create misunderstandings during communication, leading to a conflict, especially if one of the parties engaging in the conversation assumes that the other party is using a choice of words, such as short forms, to prevent them from understanding what is being said. Culture and race may also cause interpersonal conflict because of differences in values and beliefs. For instance, people from different races and cultures may promote beliefs that others consider controversial, leading to conflict. Such beliefs include the belief that women should not hold executive positions, which can create interpersonal conflicts in organizations and tension between male and female employees. Failure to uphold values embraced across different races may also cause conflict. For example, some cultures believe in using gestures such as bowing when addressing someone older. Therefore, failure to use such gestures may be interpreted as disrespect, leading to interpersonal conflict.

Strategies to Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts

Although interpersonal conflicts are hard to avoid, they can be resolved using various strategies. According to Coleman et al. (2014), the main conflict resolution strategies include cooperation, competition, and conflict. Cooperation would be effective in resolving interpersonal conflict because cooperation promotes effective communication, trust, helpfulness and friendliness, recognition and respect of other people, willingness to support other people’s power, and defining conflict of interest as a mutual issue to be resolved by coordinative effort. People can use cooperation to identify the most effective approach to resolve an interpersonal conflict by sharing information on the factors that could be contributing to the conflict and how every party’s interests can be met to resolve the conflict effectively.

Cooperation can also offer a long-term solution to a problem by ensuring the conflicting parties reach a mutual agreement. For example, cooperation can help the conflicting parties understand each other’s needs and identify the needs that can be compromised to keep each party satisfied. Operation can also be used to establish a long-term relationship between conflicting parties by ensuring that each party is satisfied with how the conflict has been resolved. For example, cooperation can help conflicting parties secure their interests during the conflict resolution process and determine each party’s role in creating and resolving the conflict. The main impact of cooperation is reducing or resolving conflicts, thus enabling parties involved in an interaction to freely express their ideas and opinions and reason together to agree on something.

References

Bercovitch, J., Kremenyuk, V., & Zartman, I. W. (2009). Introduction: The nature of conflict and conflict resolution. The SAGE Handbook of Conflict Resolution, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.4135/9780857024701.n1

Churgai, D. (2021). The influence of gender on communication style. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/influence-gender-communication-style-debbie-churgai/

Coleman, P. T., Deutsch, M., & Marcus, E. C. (2014). The Handbook of Conflict Resolution: Theory and Practice. Jossey-Bass.

Folger, J. P. (2020). Conflict analysis and conflict intervention: Do theoretical understandings of conflict shape conflict intervention approaches? Comparative Dispute Resolution. https://doi.org/10.4337/9781786433039.00010

Hocker, J., Berry, K., & Wilmot, W. W. (2022). Interpersonal conflict. McGraw-Hill LLC.

Lisitsa, E. (2024) The Gottman Four Horsemen. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

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Write a 2-3 page article on interpersonal conflict. Define conflict and explain how communication behaviors and individual differences contribute to interpersonal conflict. Recommend a strategy for resolving interpersonal conflict.

Understanding Interpersonal Conflict- Communication, Individual Differences, and Resolution Strategies

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Introduction
What is conflict? Why does it occur? What can be done to prevent it, and—perhaps more importantly—what can we learn from conflict? How can we transform conflict situations from negative to positive?

Conflict arises due to varied perspectives, belief systems, and values. It is natural and common to disagree and to experience conflict. However, there are important differences between constructive and destructive conflict. One tool for examining destructive conflict is what Hocker, Berry, and Wilmot (2022) describe as “the four horsemen” of destructive conflict—criticizing, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt (p. 23).

Communication behaviors also play a critical role in the conflict. Krauss and Morsella describe four paradigms of communication (as cited in Coleman, Deutsch, & Marcus, 2014). These paradigms are encoding/decoding, intentionalist, perspective-talking, and dialogic.