Resource Guide for Influence of Trauma on Relationships
Part 1- Description
Past trauma has an impact on present relationships. The effect of trauma on a person depends on the kind of trauma that they experienced and the support they had. Two individuals who have experienced the same trauma can have different responses in their present relationships (Kip et al., 2022). Nevertheless, individuals who have experienced trauma tend to avoid situations that remind them of the traumatic event. Trauma victims carry out their daily activities on high alert, making their world smaller. Avoidance tactics negatively impact the victim’s life since they miss out on experiencing fulfilling relationships or experiences. A partner with past trauma can be frustrated and angry, negatively impacting their partner’s feelings. One might feel that their partner does not understand what they are going through and their past trauma.
Moreover, partners with trauma victims tend to dictate the speed of the victim’s healing as they hope the victim forgets their trauma faster. Trauma victims experience emotional and social isolation (Kip et al., 2022). They are sometimes unable to explain their feelings to their partners. Trauma changes an individual’s thought process. Victims cannot trust anyone, including their partners, leading to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness in both partners. A relationship without trust experiences several fights and arguments. Hyperalert individuals, including their partners, perceive anything or anyone as a threat. Some trauma victims dissociate from reality. It is challenging being in a relationship with a partner who is numb and switches from a hyperarousal to a hyperarousal state frequently. The couple experiences frequent arguments without finding a solution or common ground (Kip et al., 2022).
Part 2- The Narrative Approach
The narrative approach aims to help survivors externalize their trauma instead of internalizing them. Survivors are assisted in separating themselves from the problem by relying on their skills. The narrative approach allows the trauma survivors to respectfully be the experts in their lives without being blamed for their problems. Relationship therapy focuses on both the trauma survivor and their partner. The trauma survivors and their partners have individual and couple therapy sessions. The trauma survivor must heal and their partner to understand their situation. Techniques used in the narrative approach include externalization, deconstruction, resiliency stories, existentialism, reframing, outside witnessing, not knowing stance, and narrative group therapy (McParland et al., 2022).
Deconstruction guides trauma survivors to be specific about their experiences. Every partner is required to describe their issue without generalizing. The therapist asks questions to highlight a trauma survivor’s issue to their partner fully. The partner must also explain their feelings without overgeneralizing. Deconstruction assists the therapist in fully and correctly understanding the cause of the problems in the relationship or a survivor’s life. Resiliency stories bring out the unique aspects of a trauma survivor’s experience (Beasley & Ager, 2019). The survivor is encouraged to tell their story in a manner that gives them a functional identity. Although others view resiliency stories as an avoidance technique, they inspire trauma survivors to reimagine their issues. Resiliency stories are a unifying factor for partners who view the same issue differently. One partner might consider an issue to be critical, while the other partner considers the same issue to be insignificant. New storylines might have partners understand their partner’s viewpoints.
Existentialism is the construction of new meanings (Worrell, 2022). A therapist encourages trauma survivors to create their sense of what life should be. Survivors should believe that the world has no meaning; therefore, their duty is to make their lives meaningful. Individuals can find purpose in their partner’s life to encourage a healthy and trustworthy relationship. Therapists use externalization to ensure trauma survivors consider their issues external instead of viewing them as part of themselves. Externalization is specifically helpful to survivors who view their trauma as a part of their personality. Individuals who consider their trauma as a personality also view themselves as a problem that challenges their healing journey. Once individuals separate themselves from the problem, they will have increased confidence and a feeling of self-worth, which improves their relationship with their partner.
Reframing in the narrative approach assists trauma survivors in having a different view of their situation. The survivor can rephrase their trauma in a manner that leads to healing. Partners experiencing challenges in their relationship benefit from outside witnessing therapy. A therapist invites a neutral third party to listen, witness, and give their opinion on the couple’s situation. Further, the not-knowing stance allows a therapist to view a survivor’s trauma from their experience without depending on a predetermined idea. The therapist guides a session to ensure the therapist is curious and informed about the patient’s condition. In addition, narrative group therapy can have partners join a group session or have the trauma survivor join a specific group therapy (Morgan et al., 2018). Narrative group therapy is beneficial for individuals in a relationship with trauma survivors to listen to the coping mechanisms and perspectives of other individuals in a relationship with trauma survivors.
References
Beasley, C. C., & Ager, R. (2019). Emotionally focused couples therapy: A systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years. Journal of Evidence-Based Social Work, 16(2), 144–159.
Kip, A., Diele, J., Holling, H., & Morina, N. (2022). The relationship of trauma-related guilt with PTSD symptoms in adult trauma survivors: a meta-analysis. Psychological medicine, 52(12), 2201–2211.
McParland, J., Flannery, H., Casdagli, L., & Portnoy, S. (2022). Narrative therapy approaches to team away days: Creating communities: clinical child psychology and psychiatry, 13591045221119007. Advanced online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/13591045221119007.
Morgan, E., Wieling, E., Hubbard, J., & Kraus, E. (2018). The development and implementation of a multi-couple therapy model with torture survivors in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 44(2), 235–247.
Worrell, M. (2022). Existentialism and Its Place in Contemporary Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. In Existential Concerns and Cognitive-Behavioral Procedures (pp. 13–32). Springer, Cham.
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Question 
For this week, you will create a resource guide that highlights how relationships are influenced by trauma and narrative tools for working with trauma. Please note that this assignment can be more of a listing than a formal paper. Think of this resource guide as something you would pass along to fellow MFTs that allows them to see how narrative and group processes can be applied to relationship therapy.
Resource Guide for Influence of Trauma on Relationships
Part 1- Description
The first part of the resource guide is a description of experiences that can be part of relationships as a result of past trauma in one or both partners.
Part 2 – The Narrative Approach
The second part of the resource guide is specific to interventions that are part of the narrative model. The readings for this week build on the narrative model and describe populations that might be influenced by trauma and how this influences relationships. Narrative tools and techniques (and adapted narrative tools and methods) are discussed throughout the readings and can be applied to this resource guide.
Your resource guide will consider the following tools and techniques from a narrative lens. You will describe/define the tool or technique and share an example of how this might look in the therapeutic setting with relationship therapy (You can use examples from the readings; make sure you are citing). Please consider the following tools/techniques in your resource guide:
- Not Knowing Stance
- Deconstructive Listening
- Externalization
- Reframing
- “Outside Witnessing”
- Resiliency Stories (also known as Listening for Unique Outcomes)
- Constructing New Meanings/Co-create new shared story
- Narrative Group Therapy
Length: 3 pages