Nonviolent Communication
Experiences
I have dealt with a difficult person during one of my clinical placements. It was in a nursing home where I helped with the older patients. The difficult person was a relative of one of the residents of the nursing home. The visitation hours for the nursing home are scheduled to take place every day between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. The relative of the resident came a little late, past 7 p.m. I explained that she could not see her grandfather since it was past visitation hours. I tried explaining to her that this was against the nursing home policies. She did not understand and instead complained and whined. She faulted the nursing home for setting unflexible visitation hours and said that she had a job. She blamed us for not being understanding of her plight. I tried calming her down, but she did not listen to me at all. I even called the nursing manager, who tried asking her to come the next day, but she refused to listen. The nurse manager had to call security to drag her out of the residential home.
The difficult person I dealt with was a chronic complainer. Chronic complainers are whiny and find faults in all situations; they always accuse others and blame them for their problems (Sherman, 2013). They are righteous and believe it is their responsibility to complain to solve things rather than bring actual solutions to the real problem. The difficult person I dealt with did not want us to solve the problem; instead, she just wanted to blame the nursing home for unflexible visitation hours. The residents of the nursing home were shocked by her behavior, and some even scolded her. Her actions were a form of harmful behavior since they can cause disharmony. If I were not a calm person, I would have turned it into a shouting match.
Example of NVC Response
Nonviolent communication involves connecting with individuals in a manner that allows people’s needs to be met by applying empathy to the universal needs that all human beings share (Kiley, n.d.). It involves relating to others and ourselves by being aware of needs and feelings instead of judging, labeling, punishing, or shaming. NVC allows us to connect with our “humanness” to that of others. It enables us to see each other as not either good or bad but as dynamic individuals who have different needs and feelings.
The NVC process involves empathetically listening to how she is communicating without criticizing her. I will put myself in the difficult person’s shoes and empathize with her since she said she had to stay at work, so leaving the job earlier may get her fired. I will then observe this difficult person gauge her emotions and feel she needs to see her grandfather (Rosenberg, 2020). The next step is to know what I value that causes me to handle (Rosenberg, 2020). I love respect when communicating, and I will try to ask the difficult person to calm down and talk respectfully. I will try and listen to her request and see if I can visit her grandfather even for a few minutes. The final step is to request and process her request, review it with the nurse manager, and grant it approval by the nurse manager. If the nurse manager does not support the proposal, I will regretfully inform the difficult person with a lot of empathy.
References
Kiley, D. (n.d.). Introduction to Nonviolent Communication.
Rosenberg, M. B. (2020, July 31). 4-Part nonviolent communication (NVC). PuddleDancer Press. https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/learn-nonviolent-communication/4-part-nvc/
Sherman, R. O. (2013, September 25). Dealing with difficult people. Wound Care Advisor.
https://old.woundcareadvisor.com/dealing-with-difficult-people-vol2-no5/
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Question 
Read the article, Dealing with Difficult People, and review the resources on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and address the following components:
Nonviolent Communication
- Briefly share an experience you have had with one of the “difficult” personalities outlined in the article. The experience could be one in which you were directly involved or one in which you were an observer. Ideally, your scenario will be from a clinical background or healthcare-related employment; however, it could also be from your personal or family life. Please do not use actual names. Address the following components:
- Provide background to help set up the interaction you witnessed or were involved in. For instance, where did the interaction occur, who was involved, what precipitated the event, etc.
- Describe how the person behaved, using specifics from one of the “difficult” personality types in the article. What impact did the behavior have on those around them? How did others respond? Was the response constructive or harmful? Why?
Using the principles of nonviolent communication outlined in this week’s resources, provide an example of a response to a difficult person using NVC language. Ensure that you identify and illustrate the steps outlined in the NVC process.