Learner Evaluation Assignment: Instructor Feedback and Rubric
Format and Style
The assignment does not conform to the minimum formatting and style requirements specified in the original request. The student did not stick with the use of the third-person voice and, in its place, extensively employed first-person narrative (“I have seen this happen…”, “I guess I could say…”). Academic writing, particularly on the undergraduate level, is anticipated to have a formal tone and be objective, usually in the third-person voice: Learner Evaluation Assignment: Instructor Feedback and Rubric.
The student also did not adhere to APA formatting guidelines, both in-text and in the bibliography. While the Cisco website is actually mentioned, there is no APA-style citation, and there is not a properly formatted bibliography presented near the end. The student also employed casual recommendations, for instance, “go to the Cisco website,” reducing the professional tone of the assignment and not adhering to academic standards of citation (American Psychological Association, 2023).
Grammar
There are several grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors scattered throughout the assignment. Inclusions are “telephone line are used” (subject-verb agreement), “networke,” “clinets,” “nerwok,” and “mane location”−all of which are simple spelling mistakes. Sentence structure is inconsistent and, on occasion, is run-on or fragmented in a way that is meaning-oblitterating.
The student also exhibits casual and imprecise word choice, which lowers the academic tone of the writing. Oshima & Hogue, (2020) assert the necessity of clarity, correctness, and proper word usage in formal academic writing, none of which are maintained in this work.
Content and Focus
Although the student does discuss the topic of computer networks, the assignment lacks academic depth and focus. The assignment was for the student to define a local area network (LAN), a network limited in its coverage of a small geographic area like an office, school, or campus. Instead, the student’s definition closely resembles what is descriptive of a wide area network (WAN), with connections “from one town to another town across the country.”
This is reflective of a poor understanding of the basic concept being tested. In addition, the writing is shallow and does not involve detailed technical elaboration or proper academic or business literature referencing that supports the argument.
Qualitative feedback
Your work on this assignment demonstrates your commitment to learning and your interest in technical subjects. Your interest in the subject matter, particularly as one with professional experience in the field of network administration, is evident and admirable. Your assignment, nonetheless, has a number of areas that can be improved considerably in order to meet academic standards for undergraduate students in an IT-based program.
First of all, structure and formatting are essential in scholarly communication. The task called for 12-point writing, double spacing, third-person narrative, and APA referencing, a step that was not consistently followed in the submission. First-person viewpoint creates a conversational tone that is not suitable for academic writing.
Rather, one should say, “Cisco Systems (2007) advises structured network designs for LANs, found on its official website,” rather than, “I suppose I can say that it is best that you go to the Cisco website.” It is also better to inform the reader that a certain piece of advice can be found on the Cisco website rather than instructing the reader midway through the document, as in “go to the Cisco website.”
The APA system involves both in-text referencing and a separate list of references. Failing to properly cite a website as a source does not satisfy academic requirements. You are invited to refer to the APA Manual (7th edition) or consult with academic resources forwarded by your university for proper knowledge on referring conventions (American Psychological Association, 2023).
Your text also has numerous spelling and grammar errors that make for poor readability. Words like “networke,” “clinets,” “nerwok,” and “mane location” are misspelled. In professional or academic writing, too many of these frequent errors can considerably detract from the integrity of the author. There are sentence fragments and run-on sentences that pervade the text, and there is inconsistency in punctuation.
For instance, “If the netork goes down in one town it may go down in another town since all of the equipment is linked by the telephone lines” could be aided by proper commas and improved phrasing. Oshima and Hogue (2020) point out that revision, peer review, and grammar tool usage are essential practices in avoiding this rudimentary writing mistake.
In terms of material, the main task of the assignment was to define a local area network. In your response, you incorrectly described this term. A local area network is meant for interconnecting units in a limited and localized environment.
Describing networks that cover “town to town across the country” actually refers to a wide area network, which interconnects geographically dispersed networks utilizing telecom circuits or leased lines. Adding switches and hubs, although accurate in theory, is not described with adequate detail or in comparison with an adequately described architecture of a LAN.
You also spoke of your experience as a network administrator, and this could have been a useful inclusion when presented in a manner that complemented rather than replicated technical details. Academic writing does appreciate professional input but also demands that it be placed in context supported by research findings. The inclusion of further details on LAN topologies (e.g., star, bus, or mesh), typical protocols (e.g., Ethernet or Wi-Fi), and applications (e.g., in offices or schools) would have offered the level of detail that amounts to a complete and comprehensive response.
Your paper’s conclusion also requires revision. Instead of summarizing the main points being discussed, it merely reiterates that the subject matter is challenging and directs the reader to stop by a website. Successful conclusions integrate the main discussion points and emphasize the wider implications of the subject matter. For instance, “In summary, a LAN is an essential part of modern computing environments, providing secure and efficient communication of devices in localized environments” would be in line with academic standards.
In the future, you could use scholarly sources in a more critical manner. Using peer-reviewed articles, books, or industrial whitepapers for your argumentation will make your writing richer and more credible. You can also make use of writing resources like Grammarly, Purdue OWL for APA, and your university writing center for individual feedback.
In summary, although your submission demonstrates initiative and an attempt to interact with the material, there is a need for major changes in terms of format, grammar, and matter of focus. Complying with academic writing rules, employing proper APA formatting, and crafting a stronger, more accurate discussion of the subject matter will serve you well in terms of improving the caliber of your future submissions. Through concentrated practice and use of academic resources, you have the ability to improve your writing and be able to better showcase your grasp of fundamental IT principles.
Rubric Evaluation (Total: 9 points)
| Criteria | Does Not Meet Objective
(0-1 point) |
Meets Most Objectives
(2 points) |
Meets All Objectives
(3 points) |
Score | Rationale |
| Format and
style (includes APA usage, third person) |
Misuses APA, and
does not use font, spacing or style listed in the assignment. |
Generally meets
the objectives, with minor problems. |
Meets all of the format,
style and APA guidelines listed in the assignment. |
0 | The paper does not follow APA guidelines, does not use the third person consistently, and lacks structure. |
| Grammar (Spelling, punctuation, word usage) | Misspells words, uses incorrect punctuation, employs a poor choice of words. | Minor issues with spelling, punctuation, and word choice. | No errors in spelling, punctuation, and word choice. | 1 | The paper contains numerous spelling, punctuation, and word usage errors throughout. |
| Content focus (on topic) | The focus of the paper drifts from the topic and does a poor job of topic identification. | The focus of the paper stays within the scope of the assignment, but does little to elaborate on the issue. | The focus is on the scope of the assignment and elaborates on the topic to add value to the paper. | 1 | The paper only loosely addresses the topic and lacks clear elaboration or depth. |
| Total | 2 |
References
American Psychological Association. (2023). Publication manual (OFFICIAL) 7th edition of the American Psychological Association (7th ed.). American Psychological Association.
Oshima, A., & Hogue, A. (2020). Longman academic writing – (AE) – with enhanced digital resources (2020) – student book with MyEnglishLab & app – essays: Essays SB w/app, online practice & digital resources lvl 4 (5th ed.). Pearson Education.
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Question 
DIT-8950 Wk 6 Assignment Instructions
Teaching technology provides instructors the opportunity to grade and assess many hands-on projects with a specific predicted outcome. However, along with the hands-on assignments, we are also tasked with grading writing assignments. A student will not automatically know what we mean when we assign a low grade without meaningful information to accompany the grade. In this assignment, you will practice evaluating student work and offering constructive feedback to learners.
Instructions
You will use the Learner Evaluation Assignment Grading Rubric to grade this Completed Assignment written by a student in an undergraduate program. The student wrote the Completed Assignment based on the Student Assignment Description. Submit the Learner Evaluation Assignment Grading Rubric, which allows a maximum of 9 points. In addition, provide the student with qualitative feedback about areas where the student can improve.
Your assignment will be graded according to the following criteria:
- Evaluate the format and style of a student assignment.
- Evaluate grammar within a student assignment.
- Evaluate content and focus within a student assignment.
- Provide qualitative feedback on a student assignment that helps the student understand areas needing improvement.
Student Assignment Description
These are the directions that were provided for the student paper that you are going to evaluate:
Please write a 2-page scholarly paper that describes a local area network. Use 12-point font, double-space, and write the paper in third person. Include a minimum of two references with a listed author and date of publication, cited with APA style.
Completed Assignment
This is the paper that the student produced.
How would I describe a local area network? Wow, that is a tough question to answer. The network usually has locations in various cities and is connected to a mane location in a larger city.
Telephone line are used to connect the networke from one town to another town across the country. A switch and a hub may be used in the different towns to pass data to the clinets in the towns(Cisco, 2007). If the netork goes down in one town it may go down in another town since all of the equipment is connected by the telephone lines. Thes lines are called circuits, but I prefer to call them telephone lines.
Learner Evaluation Assignment: Instructor Feedback and Rubric
I have seen this happen in my job where I am a nerwok administrator for a company that I will not name at this time. If you go to the website of http://www.cisco.com you will find more information about a local area network that you can read in your spare time. You can also find drawings of netwoks that are popular with some companies. I did not use the drawings for this paper since it was only two pages.
In conclusion, this is a tough question to answer, so I guess I could say the that it is best to go to the Cisco website to look at the best designs.
Do not rewrite the student assignment. Your task is to evaluate this assignment.
Please use the following rubric as a basis for grading the above assignment:
| Does Not Meet Objective | Meets Most Objectives | Meets All Objectives | |
| (0-1 point) | (2 points) | (3 points) | |
| Format and style (includes APA usage, third person) | Misuses APA, and does not use font, spacing or style listed in the assignment. | Generally meets the objectives, with minor problems. | Meets all of the format, style and APA guidelines listed in the assignment. |
| Grammar (Spelling, punctuation, word usage) | Misspells words, uses incorrect punctuation, employs a poor choice of words. | Minor issues with spelling, punctuation, and word choice. | No errors in spelling, punctuation, and word choice. |
| Content focus (on topic) | The focus of the paper drifts from the topic and does a poor job of topic identification. | The focus of the paper stays within the scope of the assignment, but does little to elaborate on the issue. | The focus is on the scope of the assignment and elaborates on the topic to add value to the paper. |
Competencies Measured
By successfully completing this assignment, you will demonstrate your proficiency in the following course competencies and rubric criteria:
- Competency 4: Examine ways to deliver instruction.
- Provide qualitative feedback on a learner assignment that helps the learner understand areas needing improvement.
- Write with few spelling, grammatical, or mechanical errors.
- Competency 5: Facilitate learning.
- Evaluate the format and style within a learner assignment.
- Evaluate grammar within a learner assignment.
- Evaluate content and focus within a learner assignment.