Impulse Control
Impulse control, particularly among children, can be a challenging task. However, individuals can learn how to control their impulses and delay their gratification. This is likely to be greater once the impulse has been controlled. In the second Marshmallow test by the University of Rochester researchers, the children who were disappointed the first time when the researcher failed to bring the large box of art supplies could not wait for the researcher to come back before eating their marshmallows. This shows the importance of having a trusting relationship with a child. When the child can trust that they will actually obtain the reward, they can control their impulse and delay their gratification. Children from poor backgrounds who are uncertain of obtaining future rewards such as food are highly unlikely to delay gratification. This is because, from their experiences, getting food in the future is not guaranteed, and therefore, indulging their impulses at present (eating the marshmallow immediately) would be expected.
Goleman describes emotional intelligence as one’s ability to control their feelings so as to express them effectively and appropriately. Goleman cites that self-awareness is a key part of emotional intelligence that allows one to know one’s weaknesses and strengths and how one’s actions impact others. Self-regulation is also key as it allows one to practice control and restraint while expressing emotions. Emotionally intelligent individuals are resilient, self-motivated, and driven by internal and not external forces like money. Emotionally intelligent people are also empathetic, recognizing other peoples’ emotions. Lastly, emotional intelligence requires one to build trustful relations with others, gaining their trust and respect when they interact (Cherniss et al. 9).
I believe that emotional intelligence is very important. It can help individuals to build strong relationships with themselves and others. By being empathetic to others, individuals show that they care and understand. This is an important trait for lasting and strong relationships. Furthermore, being able to understand oneself helps build up confidence. It would be difficult for one to be brought down by criticism. On the contrary, this would only build their confidence. When one can control one’s emotions, one can make better decisions and avoid unnecessary urges, arguments, or fights. One is able to appreciate their success when they are able to self-regulate.
As evidenced in some children in the marshmallow test, self-talk can help regulate impulses among children. It allows children to know they are in control of their behavior (Kaiser and Raminsky 140). Deep breaths, belly breathing, or counting to five can also help with impulse control. By helping a child to reframe their situation, they can also deal effectively with anger or impulses. Teaching the child how to solve problems and respond to various situations can also help control their impulses. Lastly, teaching the child how to articulate and label their feelings using techniques like puppets can also help regulate their impulses (Kaiser and Raminsky 141).
Raising hands and waiting to be picked so as to answer a question can be difficult for children. Children might also have trouble waiting to be served their meals in schools. Teachers should promote turn-taking through sharing scenarios that children can emulate in these two scenarios. Being verbally or physically abused by another child might trigger impulsive reactions. Children can be taught to reframe the problem, for instance, by being told that the other party has power over them if they lose their temper after being provoked. Being punished by the teacher for wrong-doing might also trigger an impulsive reaction. Children should be taught rules and regulations for proper behavior to discourage certain behaviors. Lastly, being unable to solve a math problem can also cause children to be impulsive, for instance, throwing their pens. By helping the child understand and articulate how they feel and empathetically helping them solve the problem, they can learn to control their impulses.
Works Cited
Cherniss, Cary, et al. “Emotional intelligence: what does the research really indicate?” Educational psychologist, vol.41, no.4, 2006, pp.239-245.
Kaiser, Barbara, and Judy Sklar Raminsky. Challenging Behavior in Young Children (4ed). Pearson, 2017.
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Question 
View the above video. What does “The Marshmallow Test” tell us about a child’s impulse control? And why does it matter?
Impulse Control
On page 138 of your Challenging Behavior in Young Children textbook an interesting experiment with marshmallows is conducted on young children by a psychologist named Walter Mischel. What Mischel discovers is that the ability to delay gratification, or practice impulse control, was a predictor of future success. The “marshmallow test” became one of the best-known of all the scientific studies. In this experiment, four-year-olds from the Stanford University pre-school were brought to a room and sat in a chair in front of a juicy marshmallow on a table. The experimenter then told them they could eat it now, or get two if they were willing to wait until the experimenter came back from running an errand.
In the marshmallow test, impulse control turned out to predict how well those kids were doing 14 years later, as they were graduating high school. Those who waited, compared to those who grabbed, were more popular with their peers, had less trouble delaying gratification, and scored far higher on achievement tests.
We now have a better idea of exactly what part of those four-year-old brains was at work in resisting temptation or giving in. Whenever we get an impulse to do something, but then do not act on it, we can refer to the dorsal fronto-median cortex, an area just above and between the eyes. These prefrontal circuits are among the last part of the brain to become anatomically mature; much of the increasing self-control that mark a child’s maturation over the years are the external signs that these circuits are developing as they should. (Remember that we learned about the brain and behavior in Chapter 4).
For instance, the “Terrible Twos” refers to the daily child-parent drama of impulse and its control which no doubt revolves around this circuitry. As a toddler lunges for the fragile lamp, dog’s food, paring knife — you name it – a parent’s firm “No” stands in for a fully functioning dorsal fronto-median cortex. As that circuitry matures, the “no” becomes internalized, a basis for free will, some say – or, more specifically, “free won’t,” the capacity to squelch an impulse. A failure in this circuitry may be at play in disorders ranging from attention deficit to addictions.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman studied Mischel’s findings and took it further by stating that “one of the secrets to impulse control is learning the difference between feelings and actions.” If resisting impulse is the root of all self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act as described by Goleman, then it is imperative that we teach young children how to delay instant gratification and control the urge to act impulsively. By their very nature impulses come unexpectedly and unbidden, from the mind’s unconscious. But once they come, we have choice: to act on the impulse or not. The capacity to “just say no” to dangerous impulses is one mark of emotional intelligence.
For your assignment:
Write a 1 paragraph (8-10 sentences) reaction to the children in the video recreation of the marshmallow test that you viewed.
Look up Emotional Intelligence (Goleman) and list 5 things that you learned.
Do you believe that Emotional Intelligence is important? Why or why not? Write 1 paragraph (8-10 sentences) stating your case.
List 5 ways to help children develop impulse control, citing where you received your information.
Think of 5 times during the day in a classroom when young children might have an issue with impulse control. List those five times and also list a solution to helping young children keep their actions in check.